Instant Results

I’ve always been impatient, which simply doesn’t work with weight loss. (sigh)

Somehow I must gather strength to keep patient and not expect the instant results.  I must also remind myself the results they get on Biggest Loser is unrealistic for me.  I don’t have the team of professionals at my side guiding me along, motivating and pushing me.   Though I try to imagine Dolvett and Bob telling me they haven’t seen anything from me yet and are waiting to see me really workout.

As I’ve been stumbling through these first few days I have come to realize that I will need additional support/help.  I’m thinking of joining WW online or checking to see if Biggest Loser has an online program.  

IF my husband gets this job, I can really consider it!  I pray he gets the job, I’m so tired of praying that we can pay the mortgage, the utilities, let alone pay for the online weight help sites.  Until then, I’ll just keep on movin’ and shakin’ to the music.  Which is far better than just sitting at the computer working.

That’s pretty much it for today.  I just don’t want to let myself get depressed over my weight, I CAN change it!

The Photo ~ now

We were doing a little walking around and a tiny bit of ‘hiking’.  I felt like I had a gorilla hanging around my neck, not my camera.  It was my own weight holding me back.

What I see … double chunky legs, fat round face … and an uncomfortable woman wanting to escape from that fat body.  The weight no longer serves a purpose in my life!

Here I am

Here I sit, after only being able to do the ‘stair master’ for two minutes.  I was out of breath and my leg was hurting.  I want to see the day when I can run up and down the stairs for 5 minutes without shortness of breath.

At one time I weighed in at 300 lbs and worked my way down to 185 lbs.  It was a slow process but, it felt so good.  At 185, maybe I got too comfortable?  I stopped trying, maybe I went into another ‘I don’t care about myself’ periods?  Which has been most of my life to be perfectly honest.

Recently I’ve been gaining weight steadily, I’ve used the excuse that it was my medication that was causing the weight gain.  Okay, so maybe it caused a WEE bit of gain, I caused the BIG amount of the gain.  I find myself sitting here at 228.4 lbs. 

NO!  This is NOT happening!  I will not let another pound be added to my body!  It’s so easy to slip from 228 to 230 then to 250 … and onward.  This is going to be REVERSED!

Yesterday I bought a scale to make myself accountable for my weight.  I never kept scales around in the house as I claimed I didn’t want to obsess about my weight.  Basically, I was saying I didn’t care.  Or not knowing is …. well, in this case damaging to my health and I didn’t want to face up to that!

I also bought two glass jars and filled one jar with colored bobbles, each bobble represents a pound that I need to lose.  At this time I have 53 bobbles, which will get me to 175.  I thought of putting in enough bobbles in the jar to get to 150 and decided those bobbles can be added later, that 53 lbs is a significant enough loss yet for some reason it’s not scaring me.  The thought of more than 50 something seems a bit more intimidating.  However at 53,  I know it’s a battle I can win!  I’ve lost over 100 before, what’s 53!